Lies Embed Our Lives with Fatigue

"Oh my life, the lies I have been faced with in my time.  Oh the lies I have told.  And all the pain it causes everybody.  There is no such thing as a harmless lie."

In reflection to Stephanie Ericsson's, "The Ways We Lie" ...

In what ways does cataloging these lies make you a better critical thinker?  What is your overall view of lying?

         I have always tried to be as receptive as possible when a person speaks to me.  I don't necessarily pick apart a person's rhetoric as knowledge to consume, or reflect upon, but to analyze.  Is what their saying the truth?  In the essay, "The Ways We Lie" by Stephanie Ericsson, lies are broken down into different categories.  They are all forms of deception, whether it's to ourselves or to others is always to be determined.  It is my opinion that the three most powerful lies she mentions are white, deflective, and dismissive lies.  When I say powerful, I do not speak of the power that they can possibly hold in their use over another person but of their damaging and destructive influence on all, including those telling or wielding the lies. 

           To a certain extent the categorization of lies that Ericsson did in her essay should help those who have been lied to differentiate and reason as to why they were lied to.  It helps to understand a general purpose that someone had in telling their lie (or lies, to our occasional dismay).  Trying to understand as to why someone has lied could help to discern an important part of someone (maybe a suppressed felling in which they hide from themselves) and ascertain their reasoning behind such said lie.  Not that understanding would necessarily make their lying acceptable.  This particular statement makes me ponder, are their acceptable lies?

              Going back to my mention of the white, deflective, and dismissive lies that I thought were most capable of deception and damage, lets analyze just how damaging they can be.  First there are white lies, "oh the innocent little lies we most impulsively make."  Ericsson, gives an example of a lady who lied to the bank about nailing a check and then lied to her husband about her fictitiously good day when she found out about his bad day.  Though we may think that, "Well she was just protecting herself and her husband."  To an extent, yes, that is true; but, what about the other possible outcomes that could have come from telling the truth?  

Suppose that she did tell the truth.  Isn't it a possibility that her bank could have extended her check deadline if she had tried to reason with them?  We do not know her history with the bank but it's a possibility.  Isn't it also possible that her husband would have happily comforted her in her time of need instead of floundering?  I do think these are definite possibilities.  However, neither her nor us will ever know.  To make things worse, her little white lie turned out to be more than she thought.  By disregarding the truth of the bank to her husband she was deflective.  It is more than likely that he will find out eventually if he didn't already know.  And by completely blowing off how crummy her day was she was dismissive of herself, a very damaging aspect of human behavior.  For when we deny the truth we deny ourselves the reality of the world and merely sweep it under the rug.  How is one to help other's when we can't help ourselves?

"Help me help you and let's all stop lying to each other."